Your Guide to Telling Guests Your Wedding is Kids-Free
Photographer: Justin DeMutiis
Your wedding is a time to celebrate with everyone you love. Unfortunately, that’s not always realistic, especially if your venue has a capacity limit or your keeping costs in mind. For this reason, some couples are choosing to have a kid-free ceremony and/or reception.
Although most friends and family will understand and respect your wishes, there are effective yet polite ways to communicate your wishes for a kids-free wedding! Read on to learn how to let your guests know you’re planning an adults-only wedding.
Is a Kids-Free Wedding For You?
We’ve all seen the adorable photos of toddler ring-bearers and flower girls, but children don’t always make the best wedding guests. For example, if you’re planning a wedding on a budget, excluding children from your guest list will decrease your overall budget. Even though children are small, they’ll still need a place to sit, a meal, etc. - and that adds up!
Additionally, your venue might only be able to accommodate a certain number of guests. Rather than leave out certain friends or family members, excluding children is a great solution. Besides, young children most likely won’t remember your big day while adult guests will!
Lastly, your ambience and overall wedding vibe can be a factor in not including children. For example, if you want your guests to let loose and enjoy themselves, having a kids-free wedding allows them to have fun without the responsibility of minors. Plus, babies and toddlers can sometimes interfere with the ceremony/reception by crying or screaming. And while that doesn’t bother some people, others prefer a quiet ceremony and reception!
Communicating a Kids-Free Wedding
Now comes the fun part - letting guests know your wedding is kids-free. The first thing to do is make sure you note this right from the start. Add a section to your wedding website stating your wedding is kids-free as well as including it on your invitations. (While it’s traditional to only address who’s invited on the invite, it’s better to be safe than sorry!).
You’ll also want to be as clear as possible. “Kids” is quite a broad term, so it’s imperative to specify which “kids” won’t be attending. For example, does that mean anyone under 18? Or 21?
Additionally, don’t make not inviting children personal. While we all know that one kid who is always bouncing off the walls, you don’t want to single out anyone or make anyone feel secluded. Instead, keep the wording general and respectful.
The one caveat to having kids at your wedding is the ring bearer and flower girl. If you’re including them in your wedding, you’ll want to touch base with their parents regarding plans after you say “I do.” If they aren’t invited to the ceremony, for example, you’ll need to communicate this to the parents. A great way to show your gratitude is to offer to pay for a babysitter for their kids for the night!
How to Word a Kids-Free Wedding
Now that you have some tips for a kids-free wedding, you’ll most likely be able to relay this to your guests. But if you’re still at a loss, here are some phrases you can use:
On the Wedding Invite: Phrases such as “Adults Only” or “Adults-Only Reception” at the bottom of your invitation are perfect.
On the Wedding Website: Here is where you can provide a little more information such as “We are only able to invite adult guests due to the limited capacity of our venue.” Or, if you have budget concerns or simply prefer a kids-free wedding you can say something like, “While we’d love to celebrate with your children, we have decided to have an adults-only ceremony and/or reception.”
Handling Pushback
Most of your guests will be understanding of your decision, but as with anything, you could receive some pushback.
If a non-close friend or family member declines your invitation, you don’t have to change your plans to accommodate since not everyone will be able to attend your wedding. But, if it’s a close friend or family member, you may have to make an exception or compromise. You can offer to hire a babysitter to watch their children at the venue in a separate space or at their home if it’s a local wedding.
And if someone does end up taking offense to your no-kids rule, a simple phone call or meet-up can smooth things over. And don’t forget to lean on your wedding planner! They have most likely dealt with this type of situation and can offer guidance.
No matter what your reason is for having a kids-free wedding, use this guide to communicate it effectively and efficiently.