The Big Five That Kick Off Your Wedding Planning
Photographer: @thecoastalstoryteller // @bookwithaustintaylor
So you're newly engaged - congratulations! Before you dive into mood boards and dress fittings, there are five foundational decisions you and your partner should tackle before anything else: the guest count, budget, date & location, aesthetic, & whether you’re hiring a wedding planner.
These aren’t just “nice to know” - they're the backbone of your entire planning process. Here's the lowdown on each:
1. Guest List: Who’s In (And Who’s Out)
Your guest headcount sets the scale for everything: venue size, catering cost, invitations, seating logistics—the works. Planning for 50 guests versus 250 is a completely different ballgame. You'll constantly tweak & think about this list, but starting with a clear idea is essential.
2. Budget: The Financial Reality Check
Before you fantasize over cascading florals and signature cocktails, decide on your budget - both what you can and want to spend. Whether it’s just the two of you covering costs or contributions from family, this decision defines your allowable expenses and priorities. Keeping a buffer (like 10–15%) for surprises is a smart wedding survival strategy.
3. Date and Venue: When and Where
After the guest list and budget, the most consequential decisions are when to say “I do” and where to do it. These choices ripple out to your other plans - for instance, securing a wildly popular venue or photographer might require locking in your date fast.
Select a venue that fits your headcount and aesthetic, resonates with your budget, and appeals to your vision - whether that’s an outdoor garden soirée, ballroom bash, or barn wedding. The right location helps shape everything from décor to menu to transportation.
4. Aesthetic & Vibe: What Does Your Wedding Feel Like?
Before you battle over napkin colors, decide on your overall vibe: black-tie elegance? Casual garden party? Rustic woodlands? Your theme or style direction should reflect what you and your partner value and feel drawn to. This visual and emotional tone will inform all design decisions - color palette, decor, invitations, and more.
This is also the moment to start a mood board or Pinterest board. Inspiration is infinite - filter wisely!
5. Wedding Planner: Do You Want a Ringmaster?
If your budget allows, hiring a wedding planner can save hours, obstacles, and decision fatigue. A planner becomes your project manager, vendor liaison, creative partner, and stress buffer—especially helpful if you're planning remotely or balancing work.
No obligation, but do delay placing significant vendor deposits until after you've hired one to avoid duplicate bookings or overspending.
Why These Five Matter Most
Together, these decisions form the strategic architecture of your celebration. According to planning pros, starting here first - before mocktails or dress appointments - helps you create a celebration that’s both impactful and intentional. You’ll align on the “who, what, where, when, and how” rather than get lost in frills too early.
Beyond the Big Five: What Comes Next?
Once those core decisions are in place, you can follow a polished timeline, such as the 12‑month wedding‑planning checklist and timeline, which guides you month‑by‑month on which tasks come when.
Here are a few key tasks that typically follow in the first year (or condensed six‑month) engagement:
Hire key vendors: Photographer, videographer, entertainment, florist. These pros book early.
Dress shopping & save‑the‑dates: Typically begin around 10–11 months out.
Hotel blocks and invitations: Reserve room blocks for guests early, and design invites once your aesthetic is locked.
Timing Pitfalls to Avoid
Several common mistakes can derail your planning including:
Booking vendors before hiring your planner: You might end up paying for overlap or contradiction.
Waiting too long to book key vendors or hotel blocks: Especially in peak wedding season.
Starting with inspiration instead of structure: That’s putting the cart before the horse.
Don’t schedule dress trials or floral consultations before you've cemented your budget, guest list, planner, venue, and date. The early steps are about building the structure; everything else gets layered on later.
In short, before you unleash your inner wedding mag pinning spree, tackle these five essentials first:
How many people will be at the party?
How much will you spend—and who’s footing it?
When are you getting hitched—and where?
What kind of celebration will it feel like?
Do you want a planner (and when should you hire one)?
Once those are locked in, you’ll be ready to pin, plan, shop - and do all of it with purpose.