Tips for Writing Your Own Wedding Vows

Photographer: Alison Phillips

Ah, your wedding vows… the seemingly most nerve-wrecking part of your wedding. What do you say? Are they supposed to be funny? Serious? How low are they supposed to be? If you decided to write your own wedding vows, here are some tips for making it as stress-free as possible!

Plan Out The Process

If you’re a procrastinator, this step is probably the most important. Planning out your wedding vows should start around six months before your wedding. Plan out how you want to organize them and anything you want to include in your speech. 

Write Your First Draft 

Just like in school, writing a first draft of your wedding vows will help keep you organized, ensure you include everything you want to, and take a lot of the last-minute stress out. Consider keeping a working document so you can keep coming back to where you can include memories and experiences with your future spouse. A few questions to get you started can be: Why do you want to marry this person? Why do you love them so much? How have they impacted your life? How do you see your future? 

Determine The Length 

While we know you can talk about your partner for hours, remember the vows are only one part of the ceremony. Consider thinking in terms of word count instead of timing. Vows that contain around 500 words are perfect, as any longer and you start to lose your audience. However, don’t go below 300 words as that’s a bit too short. 

Write Them Separately

You may be tempted to share your vows with your significant other but writing them separately adds a layer of excitement to your wedding day! However, you can talk with your partner about length and tone of vows so you are both on the same page. 

Take A Break 

We all know how frustrating writer's block can be, but don’t let that deter you from writing your own vows! If you’re stuck, try taking a walk, going to your favorite coffee shop, listening to music, playing with your dog, or just giving it a couple days to try again. 

Ask Your Officiant 

Some couples converse with their officiant prior to finishing their vows for feedback. Not only do they provide guidance, they can also help all your bases are covered and coordinate the exchange. 

Don’t Memorize Them

Depending on how long your vows are, memorizing them can add extra stress to your big day - and no one needs that! Rather than memorizing your vows, read a sentence or two and look up at your spouse. However, even though you aren’t memorizing them, you should still practice as that will help convey your emotions on your wedding day. 

Are you writing your own vows? Let us know!